BRISTOL, Connecticut (Ticker) - We all make New Year's resolutions. Mine for 2005 is to win more fantasy leagues, bluff more people in poker and play fewer instant lottery tickets.
I hope some of fantasy basketball's top players have made some resolutions for the New Year, too. Other fantasy owners are probably thinking the same thing. Here are the goals I hope some of fantasy's best have set for themselves for 2005:
Kobe Bryant, Lakers: I will not take every shot I see. I will let some of my teammates have the chance to elevate their fantasy values by scoring once in awhile, especially poor Lamar Odom. And I will stop getting involved in soap operas with anyone who looks twice at my wife or calls me a ball hog. Other than that, I am "Mr. Perfect".
Kevin Garnett, Timberwolves: I will do my best to restrain myself from pummeling my teammates. Latrell Sprewell deserves to be cricized for the year he is having, Sam Cassell seems more concerned about his contract than scoring and needs to be dunked through a hoop, and getting stun-gunned has not helped Michael Olokowandi any. So, I will just go about my business and be the one-man rotisserie show my fantasy owners have come to know and love.
Carmelo Anthony, Nuggets: I will stay away from the wrong crowds. The last thing I need to do to mess up my fantasy value is to get involved in another Cheech and Chong-like situation.
Dwyane Wade, Heat: I will continue to be the best second banana in fantasy hoops, draining all of the open shots that Shaquille O' Neal creates for little ol' me. And I will continue to correct people who spell my first name incorrectly.
Larry Hughes, Wizards: I will keep on being the top kleptomaniac in the NBA. I lead the league in steals at 2.9 per game and want to keep smiles on the faces of my fantasy owners.
Marcus Camby, Nuggets: I will drink four glasses of milk a day, stay away from cracks in sidewalks and black cats, and do everything else in my power to stay healthy. Now mind you, I say this every year and I normally still miss 10-50 games, but this year will be different.
Ron Artest, Pacers: I promise to never jump into the stands if a crazy drunk fan dumps a beer on me. But if someone beans me with a pretzel, I will lay the smack down on the first fan I see smiling. I also promise to produce an album that sells more copies than the Tron soundtrack.
WEEK 10 PREVIEW:
Schedules: Boston, Chicago, Golden State, Indiana, Miami, Milwaukee, Minnesota, New Jersey, New Orleans, New York, Orlando, Phoenix, Sacramento, Seattle, Toronto and Utah play four games during the first week of 2005. Atlanta and Dallas only play two games next week. The rest of the teams in the league have three games.
Nicest sked: Toronto. Canada's favorite dinosaurs might not have Vince Carter anymore, but at least they are the only team in the league next week to have four home games.
Nastiest sked: Indiana. Thank goodness Jermaine O' Neal will be allowed to play because the Pacers have to play at San Antonio, Dallas and Phoenix and have a home game against Milwaukee.
Three players ringing in the new year right:
Jeff Foster, Pacers: Indiana's man in the middle is on a Dennis Rodman-like rebounding tear. He has posted double-digit boards in eight of his last nine contests.
Jermaine O' Neal, Pacers: A judge has ruled in favor of O' Neal in his battle against David Stern and the NBA, meaning one of the top power forwards in fantasy basketball does not have to serve the rest of his suspension. Aren't you happy you dropped him and let someone else pick him up?
Vince Carter, Nets: I told all the fantasy fools out there last week that Carter would turn his career around with a change of scenery, and playing in The Garden State seems to have done the trick. Carter has scored 73 points over his first three games as a member of the Nets.
Three players ringing in the new year wrong:
Latrell Sprewell, Timberwolves: Spree needs to feed his family, but he is barely going to be able to put a roof over their heads with the awful season he is having. His 12.1 ppg is more than six points lower than his career average, and his rebounds and assists are way below his career averages as well.
Mike Dunleavy, Warriors: Before his recent 29-point outburst, young Dunleavy had gone seven straight games without having a double-digit scoring night.
Ronald Murray, Sonics: With all of the long-range bombing backcourt guys Seattle has, there has been no room on the floor for Flip to do his thing. He is averaging less than five points per game since returning from the injured list.
Rot Water Cooler Three things being talked about:
David Wesley being traded to Houston: Wesley goes from being one of the top scorers on the injury-prone Hornets to being the guy getting the one or two shots per quarter Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming decide not to take. And Jim Jackson goes from being a 13-ppg performer to being suspended for not reporting.
LeBron James taking an elbow from Dikembe Mutombo elbow to the face: If it was not scary enough for opponents to see James barreling down the lane on a fast break, now he is going to be wearing a facemask to protect his fractured cheekbone. Just call him Phantom of the 3-Pointer.
The Kobe/Shaq Christmas spectacular: While watching the Heat and Lakers play was much more entertaining than watching a yule log burn, without having O' Neal plaster Bryant against a backboard, the game did not have as much juice as the "A Christmas Story" marathon.
For more information on Craig, his columns and his book, "Ten Tales To Make Your Head Explode", visit publishedauthors.net/craigrondinone.