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Jacket comes up big as Unbiased Mikes come back to down Liza’s Bruises in marathon game

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Not since Kevin Anderson defeated Roger Federer in five sets earlier on Wednesday has a match required as much endurance as Wednesday’s game in the Beer League.


With the long days of summer upon us, the two teams stretched their game to 13 innings on Wednesday night with the Unbiased Mikes finally taking the lead for the first time in the top of 13th and holding on to defeat Liza Bruises 30-26.


Pitcher Gaby “Jacket” Pizzo played the role of hero in the bottom of the 13th, sacrificing her body to set up the game-ending double play with the bases loaded. As a Will Benson line drive headed over her head, Pizzo reached up and knocked down the ball with her glove, allowing her team to pull off the 4-6-3 inning-ending double play.


Pizzo’s heroics were not without their cost, though, as Jacket suffered a broken nail on the play.


“Totally worth the cost of victory,” Pizzo said once she was done celebrating.


The early innings of the game had little celebrating for the Mikes, though, who went down 19-13 in the sixth inning, which included a home run for Jeff Sisam.


With top power hitter Johnny West being contained by Sisam’s big grabs in centre field, and Joe Cannarozzo going cold at the dish, the Mikes managed just five runs through the next five innings and entered the 12th inning down 24-18. Feeling the pressure, the Mikes then began their rally, focusing on exposing the holes in the Bruises unorthodox infield setup - two third baseman in rookie Virginia Hetherington and Meg Wilson with Dennis Fraser playing both second baseman and shortstop. The team went around the order with key singles from Alex Sisam, Kim McDonald, Theresa Goodfellow and Pizzo, while males Mike Hetherington, Cam McOuat, West and Cannarozzo came up with some clutch with multi-base hits. Bruises left fielder James Atkinson had a chance to end the rally, but his throw home hit the post of the cage, allowing McOuat to score safely.


The two teams entered the 13th and final inning tied 25-25, but the Mikes continued their momentum, opening a 30-26 lead.  The Bruises loaded the bases with one out in the bottom of 13th and scored a run on Jeff Sisam’s single, but their promising rally fell short thanks to Pizzo’s heroics.


July 12 Rosters

Unbiased Mikes Liza's Bruises
Mike 1 Dennis
Alex 2 Virginia
Johnny 3 Jeff
Cam 4 Will
Kim 5 Meg
Theresa 6 James
Joe 7 Liza
Gaby 8 Erin




This Isn’t Soccer


Bruises pitcher Liza Moore, who was back on the mound since Jeff Sisam was on her team this week, showed off her abilities as a multi-sport athlete to deny a run in the seventh inning. With two out and the bases loaded, Alex Sisam hit a dribbler towards the mound. With Pizzo hustling in from third, Moore booted the ball past home plate for the out to end the inning.


After a rules review, the play was determined to be legal and Moore was credited with recording the first-ever “kicking” out in league history.



Taking It In Stride


Kim McDonald had a solid night at the plate Wednesday, finishing with a batting average of .700. However, the night got off to rough start for McDonald, who missed warmup along with Erin Worgan.


Joining the field just in time for the bottom of the first inning, McDonald was hit in the shoulder by a fly ball right field hit by Dennis Fraser. Just a short time later, she was hit in the body by the ball as a runner after reaching home safely. McDonald took both incidents like a champ, providing a big morale boost to her team.


Showing Off


The defensive bar was raised on Wednesday with highlight reel grabs by Johnny West and Jeff Sisam. West, lining up close to second at shortstop, tracked a pop fly into foul territory on the third base line and made a sliding grab to end the seventh inning. Sisam, playing centre field, notched a sliding grab of his own to rob West of at least a double in the eighth.


Erin Worgan also came up with a big catch to take a hit away from McOuat in the 11th inning, but didn’t need to slide to pull it off. “Why get your legs dirty if you don’t need to?” said Worgan, whose shorts were notably shorter than those of West and Sisam.


What Was That?


Cam McOuat put himself on the blooper reel with a strange golf-like swing at a low ball on Wednesday night. McOuat hit the ball softly to Moore who passed it to Benson at third base to record the out at first. The Mikes centrefielder claimed he was simply trying to give the ball back to Moore since there was no back catcher, but his appeal was denied.


McOuat’s other blunder on the night came in the field, when he attempted to copy the form of an NHL goaltender and flash the leather on a deep fly ball. Unfortunately for Cam, he received no style points for dropping the ball, but on the bright side, he held James Atkinson to only single because he was laughing so hard.


Next Week


Wednesday night. 6:50pm. See you there


Killing Cam’s Crew rally comes up just short, Cams Killers squeak out win

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A ninth inning rally for Killing Cam’s Crew, which included an Ian Laci grand slam, put Cams Killers on their heels, but ultimately fell two runs short.


Cams Killers appeared to have put the game away by the fifth inning, when they led 20-3 and the frustration and disappointment of the Crew was palpable. However, the Crew bats began to wake up in the sixth inning, when they posted four runs, doubling their previous best inning.


Perhaps a little too comfortable, Cams Killers made error after error, including two by shortstop Mike Hetherington, in the seventh inning allowing the Crew to go through their order in a massive 12-run inning. The Killers lead then sat at just six runs, 25-19.


The Crew made up two more runs over quiet innings in the eighth and ninth innings. The Killers then added two runs to take a six-run lead into the 10th and final inning.


With two out in the bottom of the 10th, the Crew began their rally, loading the bases with the bottom of the order and sending leadoff hitter Laci to the plate. Laci crushed a ball to right field with narrowly slipped past outfielder Erin Worgan. Using his long legs and a gazelle-like stride, Laci managed to beat the throw home and record a rare grand slam. Johnny West followed Laci with a deep hit to left fielder Dennis Fraser, reaching third on a stand up triple.


Theresa Goodfellow stepped to the plate representing the tying run with West waiting anxiously on third. With her whole team standing in anticipation, Goodfellow hit a hard line drive left field but was robbed of a base hit by oft-maligned infielder Hetherington to end the game.


While tears streamed down the faces of the Crew, who came so close to an epic comeback, the praise rained down on Hetherington.


“Given the circumstance, it was probably the best defensive play of the season,” centre fielder Erik Evans told TSN of the catch after the game.


“It was my first game and I get to see a moment of league history? Wow, just wow,” Killers newcomer Dylan said.


“I still can’t believe he didn’t screw it up, I mean he’s pretty terrible with his glove,” always tough critic pitcher Cam McOuat added.


Lineups - July 4, 2018

Cams Killers Order Killing Cam's Crew
Mike 1 Anna
Dennis 2 Ian
Dylan 3 Johnny
Erik 4 Theresa
Cam 5 Dom
Kate 6 Joe
Alex D 7 Alex S
Erin 8 Shannon
Liza 9 Will
Kim 10 Greg
- 11 Meg




Heavy Hitters


Playing in 30C heat, the ball appeared to flying longer than usual on Wednesday, with multiple players recording home runs on the night. Playing in Sperry’s, rookie Dylan was the first to round the bases with a solo homerun in the third inning. He was joined in the home run club for the Killers by Erik Evans, who almost caught Dylan while hustling hard to get home on his three-run shot. Hetherington, Fraser and Alex Deslauriers also had multi-base hits. Right fielder Erin Worgan had one of the best hits of the game, lining a hard grounder to left field for a standup double.


On the Crew, Laci and West showed off plenty of power, while Cannarozzo crashed back down to earth after a huge game last week. Cannarozzo, who had defenders yelling ‘banana’ last season, has been accused of juicing this season but no such claims were thrown out Wednesday.


Style Points


Making her league debut in centre field, Shannon Gill was burned on a few occasions by the Killers, but made sure to pick up style points along the way. While chasing down a ball hit towards the pavement in centre, Gill ditched her stylish pink hat to make her look more aerodynamic and also cool.


A Foot for a Foot


Cannarozzo and Hetherington started a new rivalry on Wednesday night with Cannarozzo playing first base. In the first inning, Hetherington stepped on Joe’s foot while reaching first safely. An hour or so later, Cannarozzo purposely allowed West’s hard throw from shortstop to hit Hetherington’s foot in an act of revenge.


Four Strikes and You’re Still Not Out at the Old Ball Game


Greg Snow endured a tough at-bat in the seventh inning of Wednesday’s game , missing the ball on four strikes. His team, however, would argue that the sun was in eyes and his hands sweaty from the heat and offer several other excuses to give him a fifth – yes, fifth – strike. Snow would make good on second extra strike, reaching first easily on a hit to right field. He would later score in the massive inning.


Gold Gloves

Hetherington wasn't the only one to come up with big catches on Wednesday. Shoutouts to Laci, Fraser, Evans and Alex Sisam for coming up big defensive plays on Wednesday night. You may have noticed for the first time West did not make the list. West called last night's game his worst defensive performance of the season.



Wednesday Again


After some debate on game dates, the Beer League will take the field again on Wednesday next week.



Joe’s Chiropractors pass Marc’s Dog Beers late for win; Ben’s Rookies left in dust

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With the game moved to Tuesday night on a less than a day’s notice due to rain, the Beer League was forced to run three teams of four this week leading to a very competitive outing between two of the teams.


The game got off to a quiet start with Ben’s Rookies, then made up of Ben Barstool, Dennis Fraser and Greg Snow coming up empty in their at-bats – watch for a trend here. Joseph Cannorozzo showed up just then leading to the newly named Joe’s Chiropractors to acquire him and move Liza Moore to the Rookies for future considerations.


Marc’s Dog Beers dominated in their first appearance at the plate with Jonny West, Jeff Sisam, Dom Lis and Marc Laurier racking up 11 runs in the inning. Joe’s Chiropractors, led by big hits from Mike Hetherington, Erik Evans and Alex Sisam did their best to keep pace and put up nine runs of their own.


After that inning a six-run cap was put in place.


Over the following six innings, Ben’s Rookies failed to score a run, while the Dog Beers and  Chiropractors traded runs. However, after several error-filled innings with the Chiropractors playing infield, including Hetherington deflecting a ball into his own head to allow a runner to reach second base safely, the shortstop duo of Evans and Hetherington found their stride and kept the Dog Beers to three runs in the eighth inning.


With a chance to erase the two-run deficit his team had carried for most of the game, Joe took over, blasting multiple hits to the deep outfield and leading the team to a max-out inning.


In the ninth inning, Dennis managed a deep hit to centre field and Rookies managed to cash him in for their first run of the game. They’d score two more in the inning in the feel good story of the night.


With the game on the line, Marc’s Dog Beers fell one run shy of taking the lead, giving commissioner Mike Hetherington his first win of the season, by a final score of 33-30-3 after the Chiropractors’ final at-bats.




Leaving a Mark

Jeff Sisam put the league on notice with his line drive hitting last week and nailed pitcher Liza Moore directly in the leg on Tuesday night. Moore hid the pain and stayed in the game at pitcher, while Hetherington attempted to get Sisam out with the hidden ball trick – an attempt that failed.


Despite the brave face, Moore was left with a gnarly bruise on the play and has been placed on the six-day DL.


Extra Defence

The Dog Beers got a little extra help in the fifth inning of Tuesday’s game when a dog attempted to join the game. However, the dog seemed to share his priorities with Laurier and quickly turned his attention to Marc’s beer, getting several good licks in on the top of the can.


Never one to waste good beer, Laurier continued to enjoy the beverage after the dog had moved on.


Rounding the Bases

Jonny West, Joe Cannorozzo and Erik Evans all managed to pull up inside-the-park home runs with their deep hits on Tuesday night. Joe, using his newly worked on back, crushed a grand slam in the sixth inning.


Gold Gloves

While West was almost wholly responsible for the near-shutout of the Rookies, others came up with some big plays in the field. Dominka and Alex Sisam both came up with big catches in the infield, while Greg Snow ended an inning with his on-the-run grab in right field. Barstool, in his league debut, showed some early jitters in centre field before coming up with some big grabs on deep hits by West later in the game.


See You Next Week

The Beer League will return to Wednesdays next week. See you at 6:50pm at Oriole on July 4.


Jacket’s Jackets run away with it once jerk kids clear the field at Oriole


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Wednesday’s game got off to a slow start as the Beer League was forced to play small ball with oblivious or possibly just obnoxious parents and children standing in the outfield trying on lacrosse jerseys.


The intentional small ball actually proved to be a successful strategy for both teams though, as the score was 6-4 in favour of Jacket’s Jackets after two innings.


Once the field began to clear, though not fully, they training wheels were taken off and people began to swing for the fences. The tone setter came for Jonny West who crushed a deep shot to left field sending James’ Pants outfielder Alex Deslauriers on a hard chase to hold him to a triple.


The Pants took a commanding 14-8 lead with a seven-run fourth inning, but things quickly went downhill for James’ squad from there. The Pants managed just six innings, eventually being handed a blowout 33-19 loss.




A Night of Debuts


Four players made their softball debuts on Wednesday night, and all picked the W as members of Jackets’ Jackets, a squad named after rookie Gaby “Jacket” Pizzo. Pizzo proved to be sure-handed at third base, going error free at the hot corner on the night and consistently reaching base with her strong sprints. Meagen Shields, playing right field, quickly picked up on the tone of the league, attempting to reach home from second after an error by Mike Hetherington. She was burned by Hetherington’s throw home from his knees, but earned the praise of her teammates nonetheless. The other debutants were Sisam siblings Alex and Jeff, lining up at second base and centre field, respectively. Alex consistently found holes in the defence for singles, while Jeff hustled his way around the diamond, stretching an extra base out of every hit possible.


Putting on a Show


The competition level was raised on Wednesday night as players tried to put on a show for the kids watching/getting in the way. James Atkinson came up the highlight of the night on a sliding grab in right field to end the sixth inning. A short time later, Jeff Sisam attempted to replicate the feat, but the fell just shy of coming up with the spectacular grab.


Ice Cold


It was a rough night for pitcher/centre fielder Greg Snow, who started 0-4 at the plate before finally recording a base hit. To make matters worse, Snow was chase after deep fly balls from West, Dennis Fraser, Jeff Sisam and Brian Williamson throughout the night.


Strong Sprints


Meg Wilson showed off her endurance during an error-filled play in the seventh inning on Wednesday. Standing at second base, Wilson ran on a pop-fly to Williamson in left field. Once Brian caught the ball, Wilson was had to run back to second, where the throw missed Alex Sisam, and then ran back to third before Fraser could get the ball to Jacket. It was both an impressive showing of endurance by Wilson and a shameful display of baseball by all involved.


Next week’s game will take place at 6:50pm, hopefully with no tykes in the way.















Lis’ blast lifts Greg’s Kegs over Kathy’s Killers after epic collapse

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Wednesday’s game seemed to be well in hand for Kathy’s Killers, who held a 19-13 lead after scoring four runs in the top of ninth inning.


The Killers had allowed more than three runs in an inning just once on Wednesday – way back in the third inning – while Greg’s Kegs had struggled to record multi-base hits.


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Some say right fielder Erin Worgan tries to do too much...

Perhaps it was over confidence, or just fatigue, but the Killers began to come unraveled defensively early in the bottom ninth, allowing singles on infield hits and opening the door towards a comeback.


By the time Kathy’s group knew what hit them, their lead was down to one with two outs on the board. The game became tied when Johnny West brought Cameron McOuat home from third on his 12th single of the game. After an Erik Evans single moved West to third, the game’s outcome rested solely on the shoulders of Domika Lis.


Dom, know her reaching first with her speed on infield hits, stared down pitcher Joseph Cannarozzo. On first, Evans lined up in a sprinters stance, hoping not to fall into the force at second. Lis watched a couple of pitches go by and then crushed the Cannarozzo offering over the outstretched arm of a diving shortstop Alex Krieger and into the outfield for the game-winning hit.


While the Kegs celebrated at home plate and with Dom, the Killers remained in the outfield, shocked. At the time of this writing, Krieger is believed to still be face-down on the third base line.

June 6 Rosters

Killers Pos. Kegs
Joe P Cam
Mike 1B Alex
Cedric 2B Theresa
Kim (Kathy) 3B Liza
Alex SS Johnny
Erin RF Dom
Brian CF Erik
Pierce LF Greg
James RO Will




That’s Gotta Hurt

Cannarozzo, who picked up multiple bruises while on the mound last season, picked up his first injury of the year on Wednesday night while trying to field a pop up. He camped out under the ball and appeared to have the situation under control, but then missed the ball which came down to hit him directly in his right nut.

He took an inning off pitching, but was soon back on the mound because Cedric couldn’t find the strikezone in his brief appearance.


Gold Glove : Greg Snow

Snow came up with the play of the game to deny Alex Krieger of a home run in the sixth inning. Kreiger crushed a deep shot to left field, where Snow was playing outfield for the first time this season.  Displaying no signs of rust, Snow made a stunning on the run grab to record the out.

Honourable Mentions: Will Benson, Erin Worgan, West


Most Hustle/Biggest Jerk Award

It was a rough night for sluggers Johnny West and Alex Krieger, who were largely contained on the night by strong defence. On a hit down the first base line, Krieger sprinted towards second where could’ve had the stand-up double, but he pushed on and took advantage of an error by Liza Moore at third to turn the corner and score on an inside-the-park home run.


Needless to stay, the Kegs were not impressed by Krieger’s hustle.


Taking it in Stride

Brian Williamson emerged uninjured, but not unangry when he took a ball to head/neck area while reaching first base safely. Attempting to record the out from shortstop, West launched a slightly off target fast ball toward first and received earful from Williamson for it.


Lack of Equality

After ending an inning by calling Cedric for a strikeout, the Kegs twice allowed female batters four strikes in an at-bat. Gender Studies major Liza Moore stayed silent on the topic, while Cedric lamented having no one to share his strikeout shame with.


Next week’s game starts at 6:50pm et.


Dominators crush the Defenceless in blowout game

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Hetherington records one of countless errors while Evans, seemingly already aware of the outcome, watches on.



It was rough night at the park for the Defenceless, who struggles were easily summed up in the failures of player/coach/motivator Mike Hetherington.


Hetherington hit a triple on the game’s first at-bat and would score on a sacrifice by Dominka Lis on the at-bat, but the wheels then began to fall off for the Defenceless and their leader as they struggled to make any plays while fielding.


The Dominators took a nine-run lead in first inning with all eight players in their lineup recording a hit. By the time the third inning was over, the Defenceless were down 20-2 and the carnage was simply too much to bare, leading the two sides to restart at 0-0.


Hetherington finished with six errors in Game 1, most of which came after known dirtbag Alex Krieger laid him out with a takeout hit on a force play at second base.


Box Scores

Team 1 2 3 Final Game 2 1 2 3 4 5 Final
Defenceless 1 1 0 2   3 2 4 0 0 9
Dominators 9 5 6 20   2 1 1 6 / 10


Game 2 was more competitive, largely due to the defensive improvements of centre fielder Erik Evans and shortstop Nick Boole. Evans denied Krieger of multi-base hits twice, while Boole became a machine with his glove in the fifth inning recording two straight outs – which would have been three if not for an error by Hetherington.


Desperate for some semblance of glory, the Defenceless entered the fifth and final inning of Game 2 down by just one run. However, the team came up short once again and lost 10-9 thanks to consecutive scoreless innings.


May 30 Rosters

Defenceless Order Dominators
Mike 1 Meg
Dom 2 Alex
Eric 3 Alex K
Kim 4 Liza
John 5 Cam
Will 6 Erin
James 7 Greg
Nick 8 Dennis




Tragedy of Errors


There were too many defensive gaffes to name for the Defenceless, the team’s low point appeared to come in the fourth inning of Game 2.


After John George pitched the usually powerful Krieger into a pop up to first base, Will Benson dropped the routine catch, leading Krieger to attempt to stretch his infield fly into a double. Benson picked up the ball and threw it behind Hetherington who was running to second. The ball went past Boole at shortstop and towards left fielder James Atkinson. Krieger beat Atkinson’s throw home for absolutely pitiful inside the park home run.


Karma’s a….


Third basewoman Kim McDonald showed off her arm in Game 1 while taking out the frustrations of her entire team on Krieger. McDonald tried to beat Krieger on a throw home and nailed him directly in the back of the neck.


A short time later, Krieger accused John George making the throw that hit him – a true testament to Kim’s arm… or George’s lack thereof…


 The (Love) Light Was In My Eyes


Hetherington’s error-filled night included multiple instances where the 2017 All-Star failed to field hits by girlfriend Liza Moore. Hetherington was accused of gifting her bases, but the truth was he simply sucked on Wednesday night.


Working in Tandem


The Dominators’ pitcher-first base combination of Cam McOuat and Alex Deslauriers proved lethal on Wednesday night, recording outs routinely without the errors the league has become known for. McOuat’s highlight of the night came when he robbed McDonald of a base hit on a live drive hit directly at his head.


Pure Heart


James Atkinson put on a performance for the ages with the Defenceless, legging out multiple hits into the deep outfield to hold the Dominators from running up the score any further. Later in the game while trying desperately to lead the rally, he hit a deep shot well foul, over the fence onto the south side of College View Ave. He would retrieve the ball after his at-bat though.


Triple A’s emerge victorious on Krieger’s walk off homer

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Due to a few last minute cancellations and a no show or two, the Beer League resorted back to the unconventional three teams of four setup on Wednesday night.


The game came down to the final inning, which Joe’s Schmoes, consisting of Joe Cannorozzo, Theresa Goodfellow, Cedric Wgm and James Atkinson, opened with five runs to put themselves in the lead.


They would fall into second place quickly in the middle of the fifth inning though as the Relationships, featuring Dominka Lis, Erik Evans, Liza Moore and Mike Hetherington, loaded the bases twice, scoring six runs to take a four-run lead over the Triple A’s and a two-run lead over the Schmoes entering the game’s final segment.


The Triple A’s, named after original team members Alex Deslauriers, Alex Krieger and Anna Woodruff, had been joined in the fourth inning by latecomer Cam McOuat. Krieger flew out to centre field to open the inning, but the defence struggled to get stops from there. McOuat and Deslauriers both had multi-base hits and Woodruffs consistently reached first. The team was down two runs when Krieger stepped up to the plate with two runners on base. He blasted the Cannorozzo pitch in deep right field and reached home without a contested throw for the win in his first game of the year.




Most Inconsistent Hitter:  Joe Cannarozzo


Cannarozzo struggled at the plate early in the game, failing to reach the outfield. However, Cannarozzo found his groove later in the game, recording a triple and a home run while catching the outfielders by surprise as his monstrous hits sailed over their heads.


Most Inconsistent Fielder: Mike Hetherington


It was a rough day for Hetherington in the outfield, who struggled to field three routine pop flies to centre field.  Hetherington, though, came up with big plays on tougher opportunities, including snagging a Cannarozzo line drive which was aimed straight at his family jewels.


Worst Teammates: Anna Woodruff and Alex Krieger


Krieger took an odd strategy on Wednesday night, chirping not only his opponents, but also teammate Anna Woodruff. Needless to say, Woodruff did not appreciate Krieger’s commentary on the evening. Could be a storyline to watch this season moving forward.


Embedded ImageCutest Participant: Maisey McOuat


While her walker Cam McOuat isn’t much to look at, Maisey stole the show on Wednesday night, distracting players throughout the game from her spot by the bench. If league is short on player’s next week, Maisey may just get the call to recreate the 2002 smash hit: “Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch.”


Most Dangerous Play: James Atkinson


Known for his power at the plate, Atkinson was once again in peak form on Wednesday night, consistently finding the deep outfield. James’ powerful swing almost came back to haunt in him the third inning, though, when he hit a deep line drive to left field. The ball left Atkinson’s bat began travelling at an estimated speed of 74mph directly toward an innocent mother with her back turned to the game. Fortunately, the ball missed the woman by less than a foot as James recorded a double.


Warrior of the Game: Woodruff


Woodruff was forced to sit out for part of an inning after taking an Erik Evans line drive to the ankle while playing second base. The damage probably could have been worse, albeit not for Anna, as the liner zoomed past the ear of pitcher Alex Deslauriers. Erik reached first base safely and resisted the urge to savagely take second.


Woodruff would return to the game in time for her next at-bat, showing strong competitive spirit.


Best Line of the Game: Atkinson


After a foul ball from Liza Moore sailed over the fence and towards the garages on Braemar Ave., Atkinson did his best to be “overheard” by a woman walking her two dogs. As she approached the driveway where the ball had rolled to, Atkinson made his play.


“Oh no, that’s our only ball and we can’t play unless someone gets it for us,” Atkinson exclaimed loudly.


The play worked and woman retrieved the ball and received countless compliments in the process. You da real MVP, lady… but also James.


Zuckerman the hero, Laurier the zero as Small Ballers rally falls just short

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Marc Laurier has spent his life dreaming of an opportunity like the one he got Wednesday night – a chance to overtake his grandfather in Canadian history.


Laurier stepped up to bat with two out in the bottom of the sixth inning, his Small Ballers down just one run with runners on first and third. The Montreal native was going for broke and fouled the first two pitches he saw on home run cuts.


With two outs and two strikes and no room left for error, Laurier began to hear chirps from the opposition referencing his earlier strikeout – the lone K of the game. He choked down on the bat and sent a line drive to left field, where he was robbed of glory by Homers shortstop Noah Zuckerman to end the game. Zuckerman had shifted left for Laurier’s at-bat and dropped to his knees to secure 15-14 win for the Homers.


May 9 Rosters

Homers Small Ballers
James, CF Mike, 2B
Greg, P Cam, SS/3B
Will, 1B Pierce, LF
Brian, SS Dennis, CF
Cedric, 2B Marc, 3B/SS
Meg, 3B Eric, 1B
Nick, LF Kim, OF
Erin, RF Joe, P
Noah, OF Dom, RF


The game featured a quick start for the Homers as centrefielder James Atkinson cranked a solo home run on the first at-bat of the evening. The Small Ballers, led by defensive errors from shortstop Cam McOuat struggled to record three outs, allowing a total of five runs in the inning.


The Small Ballers would bounce back in the bottom of the first inning, though, scoring four runs after being buoyed by the arrival of outfielder Kim McDonald.


Defence was the story of the second inning, with the right side of the Small Ballers infield – pitcher Joe Cannorozo, first baseman Erik Evans and second baseman Mike Hetherington – retiring the first three Homers batters. The Homers then responded with a shutout inning of their own to keep their lead intact.


Back to the top of the order in the third inning, the Homers showed off their power once again with home runs from Atkinson and Nick ‘Too Cool fo’ School’ Boole. The Small Ballers would keep pace with two straight two-run innings, while the Homers were shutout again in the fourth inning.


The Homers picked up three runs in the fifth inning to take a four-run lead. That’s when self-named manager Mike Hetherington began the rally for the Small Ballers with a triple over the head of the always sure-handed right fielder Erin Worgan. Hetherington psyched up his team with their rally cry of “This Is How We Do It” and scored on Pierce ‘The Gun Show’ Kellam’s double for the first of four runs to tie the game heading to final inning.


The Homers loaded the bases in the top of the sixth inning to set-up Boole with a grand slam opportunity. With the Small Ballers set up in a prevent defence to avoid a base-clearing hit, Boole choked in the moment but managed still managaed to single on a short pop up to third base with the Small Ballers all set up in the outfield. The Homers would manage to record two runs on defensive miscues, including a shameful showing of coordination by Hetherington on a ground ball to second.


Down three in the bottom of the sixth, Dominant’ Dom Lis dropped a ground ball down the third base line and hustled her way to first and give the Small Ballers optimism early. Hetherington, attempting to take advantage of a shift from Zuckerman, hit a grounder to second baseman Brian Williamson, reaching first but getting Dom out in the process. McOuat, representing the tying run, came up big with a double, moving Hetherington to third. Kellam then scored Hetherington and moved McOuat to third in the process. Dennis Fraser, looking to be the hero, flied out to set up Laurier’s heartbreaking at-bat.




‘Just hit it on the ground’


Evans, next up in the batting order after Laurier, begged his ex-roommate to simply put the ball in play and give him a chance to be a hero. Laurier, however, was intent in playing the hero leaving the sleeveless Evans stranded in the on-deck circle.


Defensive substitution


After struggling mightily in the field, McOuat was swapped from shortstop to third base by the Small Ballers. Laurier fared slightly better, but was not with error against the Homers all-righty lineup.




A close call at third base led to third baseman Meg Wilson and McOuat playing a best-of-three game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine if he was safe or out. Since the play was not a force, McOuat was indeed safe, but that logic didn’t seem to work on the diamond Wednesday night. After losing the third round shooting scissors against rock, McOuat was called out.




Doing his best LeBron James impression, Hetherington hit deep to right field twice on Wednesday for stand-up triples. Cannorozo came up with a classic ground-rule triple in the fourth inning, which likely would have been a home run if not for the hole in the fence. Will Benson also smacked a triple for his biggest career hit.


The league will return to action on Wednesday, May 23.


Season opener ends in thrilling solo shot walk-off

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Player/manager/respected commissioner Mike Hetherington opens the year at 0-1

Newcomer Ian picked the perfect time for the first home run of the season, lifting Cedric’s Entertainers over Pierce’s Sleeves 21-20 in the eighth inning in the Beer League opener on Saturday.


Ian showed off his power throughout the game, flying out to the outfield on multiple at-bats, but found an extra gear with one out in the eighth inning, sending the ball over the head of a desperate Will Benson in right field – who lost his hat while chasing the deep shot. Coming off wisdom teeth surgery just two days earlier, Ian beat the throw home in time for everyone to watch the Kentucky Derby.


The game got off to an ugly start as Cedric’s Entertainers made it through the order twice and opened up a 13-1 lead in the third inning. Led by consistent singles, the order of Brian Williamson, Anna Woodruff, Ian, Erin Worgan, Andrew Sinclair, Cedric Wgm, Dennis Fraser and Erik Evans preyed on the defensive weaknesses of Pierce’s Sleeves and opened discussions of a mercy rule.


However, Pierce’s Sleeves – who boasted a batting order of Mike Hetherington, Greg Snow, Will Sinclair, Pierce ‘The Gun Show’ Kellam, Theresa Goodfellow, Cam McOuat, Alex Deslauriers and Wil Benson - then rolled up theirs and cranked out 13 runs over the next three innings compared to just one from the far too comfortable Entertainers.


The unconventional two-inning overtime opened with two runs from the Sleeves, but was followed by a six-run inning from Cedric’s Entertainers, who suddenly remembered how to hit again. Needing four runs, the Sleeves came through with exactly that before Ian took the bat to their hopes of a victory.




Snowman Melts Down


Sleeves pitcher Greg Snow settled after the third inning, shutting down the once lethal offence of the Entertainers. However, under the pressure and the hot May sun the Snowman flaked and allowed six runs in the seventh inning.


‘Oh look, I hit it’


Sleeves infielder Cameron McOuat robbed himself of multiple hits by stopping to admire his work after making contact. McOuat’s play was in stark contrast to that of Entertainers third baseman Woodruff, who consistently reached base for the Entertainers on infield hits.


A Little Inside

Pitcher Cedric Wgm made it clear he wanted batters to back off the plate, throwing inside and occasionally behind batters. Wgm was warned about his antics and struggled when forced to throw within the strikezone for innings 3-8.


Close Calls

Both Dennis Fraser and Mike Hetherington felt some fear on Saturday when the ball left their bat. Fraser hooked the ball down the left field line and towards parked cars on College View. Luckily the ball hit a tree and rolled softly into the road.


Hetherington went the other way sending a ball well right along the foul line towards his own car. The ball, however, hit a branch and dropped into play for the first double of the season for the player/manager/respected commissioner.


 ‘Where’s my glove?’

The game’s biggest blooper came in the crucial sixth inning after Andrew Sinclair reached first base with one out. The following batter, Cedric sent a dribbler to second baseman Hetherington who quickly threw the ball to first for the out. In a league first, Sinclair reached up and caught the ball barehanded to get his own teammate out.


“I’d zoned out and as I reached for the ball, I suddenly thought, ‘where’s my glove?’” Sinclair said when asked about the incident on Saturday night.


What’s Next?

The season regular season will take place on Wednesdays (hopefully) starting May 23, once park availability is determined. Stay tuned for updates.