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In Their Words: Clara Hughes remembers a life-changing Ceremony with the Squamish Nation
Alex Cairns
Clara Hughes
Last month when I landed in Kamloops, British Columbia to take in the Memorial Cup, I saw that Clara Hughes had been selected to headline the Blazing Trails Leadership Series presented by Tk’emlups te Secwepemc, and I couldn’t reserve my seat fast enough. I have always admired Hughes' determination and openness as an athlete who struggles with her mental health and the ways in which she’s been an ally to Indigenous people in Canada.
During her hour-long talk, Hughes shared many wonderful stories, so choosing just one to highlight here has been no easy feat. However, transcribed below, in her own words, here is my favourite story she shared that day, about how being inviting to share in Ceremony right before the Vancouver 2010 Olympics helped change the course of her life.
Clara Hughes: My friends from the Squamish Nation saw me struggling in that interview and they reached out to me. They saw me struggling and they gave me an invitation days before the games unfolded. They said, “I know you’re supposed to be training and focused and not socializing, but we want to offer you something as our friend,” and they offered me Ceremony, and with permission from the community and the Joseph family I want to share what that Ceremony was that touched me so deeply not only in those games but in my life for the rest of my life. I said yes to this because I didn’t know what else to do and I was so nervous inside. I’ll never forget as my competitors narrowed their focus, as friends turned into foes and everyone was thinking about winning and winning alone, I remember driving up to the North Shore in the Squamish reserve land, and I remember going into the warmth of the family home of the Joseph family and going through this sacred ceremony called The Brushing Off. I remember listening to every person in the room going through it, and I remember seeing them visibly change, their load lighten and their spirit lighten after they heard the words of wisdom from Elder Dennis Joseph. And finally, when it was my turn to sit in the middle of that room, I remember him telling me clearly, “As a competitor, Clara, I know you want to win and I know you’re the defending Olympic champion here, but you need to know our way. Our way is that it’s never just for us. You cannot want goodness and speed and strength and success and prosperity only for yourself. You have to want that for every person around you, and only when from your heart you want everyone to be good, can you ask for that for yourself.” He said even those skaters you don’t like, you still have to respect and when you respect them you can respect yourself. He talked about the room, my husband my coach my skate technician, my Squamish family, he talked about Canada from coast to coast to coast and he said, “Clara, you are not alone and nothing is done alone. Competition is not done alone, living is not done alone, healing is not done alone.” He talked about the force field that was there around me, to protect me and keep me present for the beautiful moments that were up ahead.
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I remember walking out of that Brushing Off Ceremony feeling like my heart was going to explode, feeling that my head was open to the universe of possibilities. I remember going to the opening ceremonies and going into the tunnel into BC Place. I remember walking and finally reaching that precipice and I remember walking and waving the flag, looking at the infield and seeing dancers, from all across Turtle Island, from across the Metis homelands and the Inuit Nunangat. I remember seeing all these young people and hearing and feeling the beats of their drums that I have learned from my friends is the heartbeat of Mother Earth. I remember looking at them and seeing this beautiful beginners’ mind and seeing the intensity of their spirits. They were saying, “we are still here,” showing the world their beauty. I remember getting to the other side of BC Place 2 minutes and 47 seconds later and sitting and watching the ceremonies and thinking, “okay well that was cool, that was big that was it,”… but then I remembered, now I get to race. This is what I’m here for. 36 hours later I remember going to the rink and skating the best 3000m of my life, and sitting in third place. I remember going to the infield and cheering my lungs out for my teammate Kristina Groves, who proceeded to knock me off the podium and earn Canada’s first medal of the games. I finished in 5th place, but I didn’t care because I wanted her to be good and fast and successful and I knew my best race was coming in days time. From that race I remember watching the gold rush that happened – Bobsled Bold, Skeleton Gold, Gold of all different sports for Team Canada it was a it was a historical medal performance. My teammates were showing me what was possible and I remember thinking if they can do it so can I.
I remember finally stepping on the line that last time. My mom was in the audience, because she said she wanted to see me skate and she knew that was it, and she said, “I’m going to be here no matter what.” I remember standing on the line and listening to the commands of the Starter and I remember taking that last deep breath and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel the pressure of needing to win. I wanted to win, but I knew I didn’t need to win to be worth something. For the first time in my life I felt the peace of knowing that I was enough. That I get to try that I get to skate that I get to see what is possible and the result doesn’t matter anymore because of the whole journey I’ve been on to get to this moment right here, right now. The gun went off and I remember skating 12 and half of the most beautiful laps of my life. I remember finishing and I was in first place and I had broken this track record by 11 seconds and there were still 12 skaters to go but I celebrated like I had won because the victory was not one that ended up in a gold medal the victory was the healing path walked and continued for the rest of my life.
