LETHBRIDGE, Alta. – Representing Canada in curling on the international stage can be a draining experience, even for the game’s very best.

Shortly after missing the mixed doubles playoffs – by a centimetre, mind you – at the Beijing Olympics, Rachel Homan took to Twitter to share how she was struggling to deal with the devastating loss upon her return to Canada.

“Being completely honest because I know many athletes have felt this but I’m in the deepest of black holes wishing we could have found another centimetre for Canada,” Homan wrote. “Know that I’m cheering hard for every athlete in Beijing right now but personally struggling beyond words. I never take the maple leaf for granted and am grateful for the chance to fight for you all.”

The curling community was quick to rally around the 32-year-old native of Ottawa. Homan’s mixed doubles partner John Morris, who is competing at the Tim Hortons Brier this week for Alberta, can relate to how she was feeling.

Morris’s previous Olympic experiences – winning the gold medal on home soil in 2010 and then mixed doubles gold in Pyeongchang four years ago – were much different compared to this year.

“It was a grind. We were away from our families for five weeks. It was a really tough Olympics because of the restrictions. It was tough on my mental health as well. It was a tough whole situation. It felt great representing Canada and being able to wear the Maple Leaf, but it’s a grind,” Morris told TSN.ca “Especially Rachel, she’s a young parent with a kid under one. It’s not easy to be away for that long. I’m happy she was able to reach out. I think it helped to show that she can be vulnerable and human, and I think it was great to see the response from the curling world.”

Marc Kennedy, third for Northern Ontario’s Team Brad Jacobs, also understands both sides of the coin. He struck gold with Morris in Vancouver before missing the podium all together in 2018 as a member of Kevin Koe’s rink.

“I know how hard it is, how heavy the maple leaf can be sometimes if you don’t have a great week,” explained Kennedy. “Expectations are high. It can be a lonely place once you get home. Everybody feels it a little bit differently.”

Reaching the Olympics can just be as gruelling as the competition itself. First, you must be one of the best eight or nine teams in the country to qualify for the Trials. Then you must find a way to peak at the right time to win the event, which is considered by many as the toughest bonspiel on the planet. And if you can do all that, then comes the onslaught of responsibilities of being Team Canada.

When it’s all over, the sense of relief, as well as exhaustion, is real, says Kennedy.

“For me, winning or losing big events, sometimes there’s that sense of relief because the pressure is off,” he said. “Even when you lose the pressure is off. There’s relief, but there’s also, especially with the Olympic experience, there’s exhaustion. That whole process can be gruelling. The highs and lows. The roller-coaster of emotions is substantial. So, it’s quite the ride and it takes a little while to get on your feet and feeling normal again.”

Kennedy was in Beijing as Team Brad Gushue’s alternate, helping them win the bronze medal over defending champion American John Shuster. The St. John’s native has played in just about every pressure-filled environment curling has to offer but says even he can’t 100 per cent relate to the “unfair” criticism Homan has received from some after the past two Olympics.

“She’s still one of the best women curlers in the world – best curlers in the world, let alone female or male,” said Gushue. “She deserved to be there. She was a millimetre from potentially being a gold medallist. Hopefully, after a bit of time, she has the perspective, but I think the general curling population also has to realize that we’re normal people. We’re doing our best. Some of the stuff that has been said about her is completely unfair and it doesn’t need to be said.”

International curling competition has grown exponentially since Gushue’s Torino Olympic triumph in 2006, yet the expectation for Canada to win gold every time is still there from many. Gushue says the pressure on Canadian curlers can probably only be compared to long track speed skating in Netherlands.

“I, certainly with my age, and our team, we’ve got enough perspective to know what we did, winning a bronze, is pretty darn good,” he said. “We’re one of three teams to stand on the podium in the world. Even if we played up to our capabilities in Beijing, there’s a chance Niklas [Edin] or Bruce [Mouat] could have beaten us anyway. We’re proud of it, hopefully Canadians are proud of it. I just think we need to be realistic going forward.”

Kennedy, 40, says he’s always come home to a fantastic support group, including his wife, Nicole, and daughters, Aubrey and Brechan, which puts everything in perspective.

“I think keeping perspective on what we do is a really important thing to work on as athletes. For me, that’s what I carry with me all the time,” Kennedy said. “At the very end of the day, it’s a game. It’s a game we have the privilege of playing, so that pressure can be a privilege, if you look at it that way. You’re not getting out of this sport, unscathed without some big losses, whether it’s the Olympics, Brier or Scotties. It is what it is and so you got to take the good with the bad.”